Principles
What principles are behind the design of Conversation Labs?
The lab experience balances form and freedom for each participant and for the group.
When there is too much freedom, for eample, whe a group sits in a circle and people just talk, there is too much freedom and unhealthy habits kick in. The dominant ones dominate, and the quiet ones are quiet. When there is too much form, people withdraw or act out as they resist the constraints.
The activities integrate and blend thinking, feeling, and willing.
There is a creative challenge based on choices the group makes. Imagination is stirred, and a 3-minute timer guides each story or experience. We all find we have hundreds of possible stories, and we choose and take our turn, only when we are ready.
Isolation is a plague in our culture, and we need support to engage in new forms to help us build our courage to engage.
Meaningful conversations are not accidents. They lead to meaningful relationships. The process and activities in ConversationLabs demystify meaningful conversations. They provide low-risk social and emotional learning experiences that build confidence.
Participants tend to dismantle unconscious prejudices when they hear someone’s story.
First impressions are powerful yet mostly unconscious. How people appear physically, their tone of voice or age or gender tend to influence us. Yet, once we hear an experience or story from their perspective, we lose our grip on that first impression and empathize or join in the humor.
Even if we’ve known someone for decades, we are stunned when they share an unfamiliar part of their life.
Participants have fun and want to hear more stories from their partners!
We all need more fun in our lives, legitimate fun that is not based on sarcasm or negativity. Yet, it is hard to find in today’s culture. We benefit from both the permission that the ConversationLabs provide, as well as the expectations that we create or pull a story out of our life that aligns with the choices of topics the group has made.
People were inspired by the story sharing and the sharing felt honest. I was surprised how vulnerable most people were being.
Lab Participant
Location, Sweden
As humans, we are capable of deeper, more meaningful conversations. When we reflect, we realize that when we experience a deep and meaningful conversation with another, we set in place further steps toward a healthy relationship. And, we know that from healthy relationships, trust emerges. We cannot expect trust to emerge from superficial chit-chat or “all business” conversations.
We can’t make a flower grow by pulling on it. Nor can we make trust grow by just talking about it. ConversationLabs weave together two distinct forms: 1) creating and sharing an original story or experience, and 2) engaging in an open conversation after having listened to each other’s personal experience. This is not just “storytelling,” it is “story sharing” and calls up active listening with warm hearts.
We change when we hear someone’s concrete, personal experience: our prejudices recede a bit. Our interest is awakened. What other stories are there? No longer is that woman in the red dress, just the woman in the red dress. Now, she is an aunt with a nephew whose actions have upended the family’s finances, disrupting traditional roles. We each relate to different parts of her story.
By sharing our own life experiences we are seeking to break through the outer shells that our culture has told us matter: physical looks, wardrobe, speech or media-modeled anti-social practices.
Simply, we are striving to revive the art of meaningful conversation. We strive to disrupt routine and convention. We inspire our lab partners to speak at their level of comfort, avoiding empty phrases.
No outside facilitator is needed. Between 3-6 lab partners enjoy a ConversationLab all within an hour. The variations are endless, as are our stories. We are taking steps to recover a precious part of our humanity.