Lab Reflections
A group of friends asked Maria and Tom to describe their first experience with ConversationLabs.
Tom
“So you want to hear a bit about the labs?”
Group of friends
Yeh. We might get to do one later today.
Maria
First, it was fun. Each of us created something unexpected, and then we all shared what we created. After that, we had the open conversation.
Tom
Well, first the group got to pick from the Arena Cards what we wanted to talk about. Our group tossed it around but chose RELATIONSHIPS. Then we got to select 3 from the 10 Topic Cards that narrowed our focus, and we chose Fairness in Money Issues, Managing Expectations and Setting Agreements.
Maria
We read aloud, from the mat, the Story Sharing Prompts and had 3 minutes of quiet time to reflect and create an experience or story that linked one of the Topic Cards with one of the Story Sharing Prompts. It took me a minute to get the linking part but then I got it. I chose Fairness in Money Issues and An Experience where I had a big life lesson. All about how much people get paid at work and how it seems at times to be so unfair – until I had to make the decisions!
Tom
“I jumped around a lot but finally settled on the Managing Expectations card and the prompt, “Something from my day-to-day life.” I talked about how my girlfriend and I struggle around being disappointed because we have such different expectations.
Maria
At our table, Tito went first and took the 3 minute time and we all listened as he told about Managing Expectations and the prompt, “A person who influenced you growing up.” He told about his abuela, his grandmother and how she told him to always expect less then he’d be happy with whatever happened. He said it was a double-edged sword and he was working on expecting more to start.
Maria
We each had 3 minutes of uninterrupted time to share. It was cool.
Tom
We stood up and stretched – and as we settled back we dealt out the Phrasing Cards.
These are phrases that we could use to introduce how we wanted to add our ideas to an ongoing conversation. We read these aloud and honestly, I had never thought about using phrases like these, but then we heard them and really saw that they could help us. I used the one where I started my sharing with the name of one of my lab partners: “Tito, could you please expand on what you shared.” I’d never thought about saying someone’s name and how that affects us in conversation.I’ve been practicing that phrase when I am in family groups these past two weeks. It seems to bring us closer.
Maria
We talked openly until the hour was up. We all were in a very good space at the end of that hour, and we’d never met before. We wanted to do it again!